I don't really remember the last time I wrote, which means I don't remember where we lived then, but now we live in South Jersey, for now. Moving has become almost as normal as running to Walmart in this family. (which if you read some of my other posts you know how I feel about that place!) My husband calls it an adventure...I'm beginning to think I misread the brochure!
I have found that with all of the moving, I have a very select few friends that I entrust my time and life with. I am more hesitant with each move to connect and become close with those around me. The defense mechanism is in high gear. Better to be lonely then to make more friends that I will inevitably have to leave behind again. I've made a mistake here...I have let down my guard and become good friends with a couple of people..I see pain in the future.
I turned 40 last year. It always weighs in the back of my mind that my father started losing his mental capacity around this age and had passed by the age of 54. Too young. I try not to live in fear, but it is often difficult to keep those thoughts from pressing to the front of my mind...when I feel like I am losing it, what if I am?
So many mixed thoughts and emotions going on in my head at this point...too much to try to catch you up on in one post...but I am back. I will write more. Read if you want, if not, that's ok too...
Words of wisdom...maybe? There is a nugget of deep truth in there if you think about it :)
Thanks for stopping by,