part 1...how “the ministry” almost ruined my marriage

I say ‘Part 1’ because I know I have a lot to say here, and I know you don’t want to read all day. I have been thinking about this set of posts for quite some time and have decided, after much thought, to go ahead with it.  I am going to be brutally honest and upfront as much as I can, without naming names or slandering anyone.

I am sure at first glance that many of my church friends are appalled by the title.  Please read on, because if you know me well, you know there is much more to my blog than the title!

My husband and I have been married for 16 1/2 years.  We have been involved in ministry of some kind together for all of that time, and then some.  We are falling more in love with each other every day and learning more about each other every day. I won’t speak for my husband, he will speak for himself when he feels like it, but as for me...

Over the years we have worked at many different churches.  Some small, some average, and one huge one.  Churches, like people come in all shapes and sizes and, just like people you can’t judge them by their “cover”.

In each of the places we have served, we have made incredible friendships, worked with incredible people and had some incredible experiences. I still believe that there is some good and some bad in every church.  The bad comes in because a church is not a building, it is people.  Sinful people with their own preconceived ideas and intentions that come together...there is bound to be some trouble!!

As we take off on this set of posts I truly hope that others can gleen from my experiences and maybe have some of their own input.

Right now, we are taking a much needed break from traditional ministry.  It is for a season, a much needed one.  When I say traditional ministry, that means that I am still in ministry every day, just not on staff at a church.  Whether it is counseling former youth members, praying with friends or volunteering in my church, I look at everything I do as a ministry opportunity.

Well, the introduction took up most of the blog, but that’s ok.  It’s my blog and I will just keep posting until I run out of things to say!!!

One thought for today before I go, and it is an important one to remember....

There are always two sides to every story. I am telling the one that most people don’t hear. The one that is brushed under the rug, hidden from sight so that “the church” and “the ministry” can move forward.

I don’t speak out of anger or bitterness, because those things only hurt me.  I simply speak the truth in hopes that others can learn from it.  The following scripture I think best describes where I am coming from and my true intentions.

Instructions for Christian Living (From Ephesians 4)

 ¹⁷ So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸ They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹ Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.

 ²⁰ That, however, is not the way of life you learned ²¹ when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²² You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

 ²⁵ Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷ and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸ Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

 ²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

So here we go...